


love, simon

by danhoweiis, twoheadlights (fizzfic)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Coming Out, Dan Howell and Phil Lester Are Parents, Family Fluff, M/M, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-24 05:28:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19717156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danhoweiis/pseuds/danhoweiis, https://archiveofourown.org/users/fizzfic/pseuds/twoheadlights
Summary: Like fathers, like son.or: Simon Lester has something he needs to tell his dads.





	love, simon

**Author's Note:**

> two fics in one week??? who ARE we 
> 
> charlotte says: gay simon til the day i die
> 
> pls enjoy more of our favourite family bein the best ever!!!

Simon stared at his reflection in the mirror. 

_You can do this. It’s_ just _Sebastian._ Deep breath. 

He walked to the door that connected both their rooms, and knocked. Once, twice. 

“Come on in!” came Sebastian’s muffled voice. Simon hated that his hand was kind of shaking as he opened the door, but the sight of Sebastian on his bed, laptop propped up on a pillow in front of him, made him feel a little bit calmer. 

“Whoa, Si, it’s like...9:30,” Sebastian said, shocked. “Aren’t you supposed to be tucked into bed right about now?” 

Simon rolled his eyes. “Shut _up_.” But he didn’t return the jibe with a retort of his own. He walked to the bed and sat down at the bottom of it. Fidgeted with the covers. 

“Okay, well, you’re being awfully quiet. Can I help you with something?” 

“I…”

“Did you do something? Was it really bad? Do you need help hiding it? Oh my God, can we not tell Dad and Da?” 

“ _No_.” 

“Then, c’mon, spit it out. Or...take your time. Whatever you need.”

Simon smiled, because he knew Seb was doing his best to make him feel comfortable, trying to lighten the mood while also taking him seriously. He cleared his throat and said, for the first time ever out loud: “I’m gay.” 

The moment he said it, Simon’s shoulders went slack, and his eyes welled up. Before he knew it, he was sobbing into his hands and he couldn’t stop. 

“Whoa, whoa, hey, why are you crying? What’s wrong?” Sebastian asked, panicking. 

“I just - I’ve been keeping that in for s-so long,” Simon replied, sniffling. “It’s overwhelming.” 

Sebastian chuckled from beside him. “You’re an idiot. You know you literally could have told me at any point and I would have been fine with it? Also, I don’t know if you’re aware but we have two dads Si.”

Simon chuckled and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. “Doesn’t make it easier. If anything it’s harder, what if I don’t live up to their expectations?”

“I don’t think they have any expectations. Just so long as you’re happy. Now stop crying and let's play Mario Kart, I haven’t beaten you in a while.”

-

It was a few days later. After his chat with his brother, Simon had plucked up the courage to tell his Da. 

Phil was sat in the office. He’d drawn the short straw and had been lumbered with responding to some business emails whilst Dan was busy making dinner.

Simon knocked on the door before popping his head round the corner. “Only me, c-can I come and sit with you for a bit?”

“Sure, I’m only replying to emails though. Nothing exciting, offspring.”

Simon shook his head at Phil’s peculiar pet names for him and Seb and sat down on the large grey couch that was pushed up against the wall.

“Any exciting emails?”

“Only if you class sorting out taxes as exciting?”

Simon chuckled as he leant back against the couch, the nervous energy was running through his body but he inhaled and remembered what Sebastian had told him the other night.

“I uh...I saw a cute boy in the park today on my walk home from school.”

Phil’s eyebrows rose so high up he’s surprised they didn’t disappear from his face completely.

“Oh, w-what’d he look like?”

“He was tall, like ridiculously tall. And he had really nice blond curly hair. He was playing football, he looked like he had nice arms…”

“Sounds nice. You wanna watch out for boys with curly hair though Si, they can be evil.”

Simon smiled and let out a giggle. “Thanks for the advice.” He got off the couch, feeling lighter than ever. 

“Good talk.” 

-

A couple of days later, Simon and Phil went to buy groceries for dinner later since they volunteered to be the ones to make it. He was glad he told Phil first, because as expected, his father didn’t make a whole thing about it, _and_ he was able to gush about a cute boy. The only thing that bothered him though was that Dan didn’t know. He felt bad, and really wanted to tell him, he just wasn’t sure how. 

“Hey, bud, do we have beans at home?” Phil asked, looking back at him. 

“Can you tell Dad?” Simon asked in return. 

“What?” Phil looked at him confused.

Simon went red. “I - I mean. About me. Being, y’know, gay. Could you tell him for me?” 

Phil’s expression softened. “Si, what’s the matter? Why don’t you want to tell Dad yourself?” 

Simon sighed. “I just...I told you and Seb first because you guys don’t make a big deal about things, keep it low-key. Like your video!” 

“Right,” Phil said, obviously fighting a smile. “And Dad...doesn’t?” 

“I love him so so much, you know I do, but I’m _scared_ of him.”

“Are we talking about the same person Simon? Your dad is the least scary person I know, in actual fact he’s the biggest baby out there. Why are you scared of him?

“Okay, it’s not _him_ I’m scared of. But his expectations of me once I come out. I’m not _like_ him in that regard.”

“Yeah and thank god you’re not. One Dan is enough for anyone.” He put a hand on Simon’s shoulder. “Look, Simon. I would tell your Dad for you, I would. But trust me when I say, you’ll wish you told him yourself. Because he loves you and cares so much about you and your happiness. I don’t think you realise, but he would literally die for you.”

“Scary.”

“ _Yeah_. But what I’m trying to say is, this is your story, you know? And you’re scared Dad’s going to make it a whole thing, but he knows you like the back of his hand, so he might just. Not.”

There was a pause as they continued walking down the canned goods aisle. “How should I tell him then?”

-

“Just go and tell him Simon. It’ll be fine, I don’t know why you’re nervous anyway.”

Simon exhaled and wiped his palms on his jeans. “How should I start it?”

“Like you did with me, just act casual. Be cool.”

“You know I’m not cool Da?”

Phil spun him around and pushed him, by his back, towards the lounge where Dan was sat on his laptop. “Just go and start talking to him about Harry Styles or something.”

“I don’t even know who that is Da!”

Phil sighed and gave him a gentle nudge, causing him to bump into a table. Dan turned around and smiled when he saw Simon standing in the doorway.

“You alright Si?” He asked.

Simon nodded as he walked into the lounge properly and sat down on the couch next to Dan. “I’m fine Dad.”

There was a silence as Dan went back to his laptop and Simon sat there, looking at him. 

“Okay, actually I have something I wanna tell you but you have to promise to be chill about it please.”

Dan turned to him, his brow furrowed as he looked at Simon. “Why would I not be chill about it! I’m always chill...unless you’ve done some illegal drugs? Or you’re in trouble with the police? God please tell me you haven’t committed a crime or something?”

Simon stared back pointedly.

“Okay, okay fine. Point taken, now what is it you want to tell me?” 

Simon looked at his father, into his kind eyes, knowing nothing was going to change for the worse, that this would make him feel better. He cleared his throat, took a deep breath and said, “I’m...gay.” 

Dan didn’t say anything immediately. His eyes widened for a second, like he was definitely shocked. Simon didn’t know _what_ to expect. He half-wished he hadn’t asked for Dan to stay calm so at least he knew what was going to come. 

After what felt like _years_ , Dan finally said, “Lol me too.” 

Simon reached out and shoved Dan’s arm. “You’re supposed to say something supportive! Or tell me, ‘that’s great, me and your Da will always be here for you.’”

Dan rolled his eyes. “If you didn’t already know those things then as parents, we’ve been doing something terribly wrong. Besides, nothing more supportive than solidarity.” 

Simon chuckled as he looked at Dan. “So you’re chill about it?”

“Course I am,” He said, reaching out to hold Simon’s hands in his. “Thank you for telling me. We’ll bake a rainbow cake in your honour and I’ll buy you a rainbow flag for your room.”

Simon pulled his hands away and stood up. “Right, see this is you being not chill. I’ll pass on the cake thanks.” He said as he made his way out of the lounge. 

“If you want to talk about boys Simon I’m always here!” Dan called after him.

“No thanks!” Simon called back. 

-

“I don’t understand why everyone wanted to come to the park with me,” Simon complained. 

Sebastian smirked. “It’s nice outside!” He said. “We don’t do outdoorsy things together as a family!” 

“Since when have you cared?” 

His brother didn’t answer that. The four of them walked through the park, silently then, until - 

“Hey, look at those guys playing football!” 

Simon groaned. “No, let’s _not_ look at them,” he said, through gritted teeth, glaring at Sebastian. He looked at Phil pleadingly, who looked back innocently, like he had no idea what was so wrong about them watching a few boys play football. 

“Please don’t say you want to join a football team Si?” Dan asked. “I mean, we’ll support you but I’m not sure sports are your calling.”

Phil nudged him and leaned in and whispered, “I think it’s less so what they’re playing than who’s playing.”

Dan squinted as he looked across at the boys playing. There were four of them and there was a taller one with blonde curly hair who Dan spotted immediately. “Oh...” Dan said, realisation spreading across his face. “Nice choice, buddy. Up top.” 

Simon did _not_ return the high-five. He hid his face in his hands, wanting the earth to swallow him whole. 

“I think you could do better,” Sebastian said as they walked past. “He looks too pretty. I think you need someone who’s manly with...with an eight pack or something and muscly arms.”

Simon grimaced. “Can we stop talking about this please, it’s embarrassing.”

“Wait, Seb, is that _your_ type?” Dan asked suddenly. 

“Dad - wha - _No_!” Sebastian spluttered. “I like girls Dad.” 

“Give it a few years,” Dan muttered. 

“Dan you can’t force our kids to be gay.” Phil said

“Says who?”

“Says me.” Seb added.

Simon watched his family bicker as they walked ahead of him and smiled. He was out, the world hadn’t imploded and as expected, everyone had been very chill about it (with one exception.) He couldn’t have asked for anything better. 

**Author's Note:**

> [follow](http://twitter.com/danhoweiis) us on [twt](http://twitter.com/tayIuvr)!!!!!!!!!!!


End file.
